Date:	2005-04-26 16:25
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	white noise

Hi,

I'm posting this story here now, 'cause otherwise I'll propably never post it. I wrote this a while ago, and shepenwepet beta-read it (thank you!) Un-fucking-fortunately I lost the beta read version somewhere in my computer and haven't been able to find it. I think I've lost it completely. So fuck. I've been looking for it all day (now that I finally have an access to my computer), but haven't found anything, so I am very pissed off.


Anyway, here's a UNBETAED Angel/Spike story, if anyone's interested. There haven't been that much A/S lately, so if you are desperate to read something, give it a go, yes? Thousands of thank yous and apologies to shepenwepet!

In Search of Lost Time


( Read more... )

Date:	2005-03-27 21:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	silly

I was googling 'cause I'm bored. I was feeling nostalgic and so I typed in "Callisto", meaning the blond maniac from Xena, because she is hot.

So, which led me thinking: Isn't Xena and Callisto like Angel and Spike? A dark, desperate warrior with a murderious past, now fighting for redemption but not really believing she deserves it. Oh! And who had a difficult relationship with her son Solan that she didn't really know well, and who died tracigally. Connor=Solan! And then the blond girl who really was very sweet before Xena (in her 'Angelus'-days) came along and murdered her family, turning her into a evil, crazy bitch who loves tormenting Xena.

I had a scary moment when I wanted to write a Xena/Angel crossover where Spike and Angel learn that, in their past lives, they were these hot *gough*lesbian*gough* warrior chicks in Ancient Greece.

But who is Gabrielle? Wesley?


Here's some pics of Xena and Callisto. The swords, the expressions, the black leather... I can't be the only one thinking there's something there, right? Right?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v85/Selinak321/Minor%20muses/Callisto/Callisto29.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v85/Selinak321/Minor%20muses/Callisto/Callisto27.jpg

OK. This is the BIGGEST WTF reaction I've had for a long time while reading news:


"CLARK COUNTY Student Arrested For Terroristic Threatening Says Incident A Misunderstanding


A George Rogers Clark High School junior arrested Tuesday for making terrorist threats told LEX 18 News Thursday that the "writings" that got him arrested are being taken out of context.

Winchester police say William Poole, 18, was taken into custody Tuesday morning. Investigators say they discovered materials at Poole's home that outline possible acts of violence aimed at students, teachers, and police.

Poole told LEX 18 that the whole incident is a big misunderstanding. He claims that what his grandparents found in his journal and turned into police was a short story he wrote for English class.

"My story is based on fiction," said Poole, who faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge. "It's a fake story. I made it up. I've been working on one of my short stories, (and) the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies."

Even so, police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill.

Poole disputes that he was threatening anyone.

"It didn't mention nobody who lives in Clark County, didn't mention (George Rogers Clark High School), didn't mention no principal or cops, nothing,"
said Poole. "Half the people at high school know me. They know I'm not that stupid, that crazy."

On Thursday, a judge raised Poole's bond from one to five thousand dollars after prosecutors requested it, citing the seriousness of the charge.

Poole is being held at the Clark County Detention Center."


WTF?!?? Indeed. My God, if somebody found one of my FICTIONAL stories, they'd propably shoot me at sight.
World is a fucking crazy place.

Date:	2005-03-27 21:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	worried
Music:	the eerie humming of the computer in darkness

I'm back home for a night before heading back to my place. I'm so sorry I haven't had the time to update, comment or anything.

I'm just really alone right now. I've just learned that there is something wrong with my boyfriend. I've known he had been feeling strange, weak and sick for a past couple of months and have been to doctors. They've only now gotten around to get blood samples and found something. Don't know what, exactly. My BF is going to get more tests done.

Worried, worried, worried so much.

This is common, yes? Nothing to worry (too much) about? Because my mind is filled with all sorts of awful things that end up with his (and sometimes my) funerals.

Date:	2005-02-27 21:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

Meme I stole from... somewhere?

Guilty pleasures:

Movie: Interview with a Vampire.

Song: Britney Spears & Christina Aguilera have catchy songs that I despise, but secretly dance to like a porn goddess.

TV show: Magnificent Seven. I hated, hated, hated this show when I first saw it, but then I started taping it in secret and watched it at night with headphones on! But I still gringe when I watch it!

Comfort food: This brownish red thing that I 'created' one night. I won't tell you what it's made from, because then I'd make you puke in horror and disgust.

Fad (something pop-culturish that you like against your better judgment): celebrity gossip

Ohhh Shiiite...

I think I'm getting hooked on Lost. I thought this would not happen again, but I think I've found yet another TV show to obsess about.

AND you should never, ever download episodes of TV shows that has not yet started showing in your own country! It just causes so much frustration, tears and sleepless nights, as you are trying to download the episodes in correct order, and at the same time, fight bravely against the sweet, sweet temptations of spoilers!

Oh man. Oh the MEN!

I DO love the whole cast, which doesn't happen that often! And there's so much male beauty I'm just dizzy.

Sawyer = Spike! Ah, le bad boys..
Charlie = adorable. Troubled rockers are my type. :)
Jack = adorable, but in a different way. I like how he has such a 'normal' hero vibe.
Sayid = Hee! I used to know this very flamboyant and hilarious bi-sexual guy who looks like Sayid. Very disturbing! :) Still, beautiful eyes and hair.
Michael = Oh, I love Harold! I have much OZ love for him!
Boone = well, I don't have an opinion of him yet. Nice eyes, though not very expressive, which is a pity.


I can't understand why I am not seeing any slash yet! What is wrong with me? *whine*

Date:	2005-02-27 21:35
Subject:	Ghost Stories
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm

Hey you all, I've been MIA for a while as the Real Life took a sudden turn to better and I got my own flat (finally!)! I've been very busy, though, and I don't have internet access in my new flat.:( I was meant to post a story I've written, but STILL haven't got around to it. I've also done a naughty, naughty spangel-drawing but I misplaced it during the move. I have no idea where I put it, which frankly makes me quite nervous. I wouldn't want a member of my family to discover it!


In other news, and I do realize that this might make some of you think I'm being very, very silly, but I have a ghost story. I am quite sceptic usually, and don't believe most of the 'ghost stories' I've read or heard. But I do believe there's more to life, and I and my family and expecially my boyfriend have had strange things happen to us. Thought I'd share this one now.

I think I'm haunted by a spirit of a cat.

We have two cats of our own, both alive and well. We haven't had any cats before them, but my mom had cats when she was younger and she lost them both quite dramatically. I don't know it that is relevant information to this story or not.

Right. So, cats have always played a big part of my life. Most people say that if I was an animal I would be a cat. :) Both our cats came to us from traumatic situations, and were quite scared of people in the beginning, but I was the first person in our family they started to trust. I've also picked up purring cats of friends and relatives and started stroking them, only to hear from the astonished owners that the cats hardly don't let the family members, let alone strangers to touch them. Well, and I don't know if that relevant either. :)

Anyway, this 'spirit'. Once we moved into our current house, which is rather old, I started seeing shadows from the corner of my eyes. A small, dark shadow walking towards me. I have never looked straight at it, so I am not sure it it's real form, but it is the size of a cat, and moves in almost exact the same way our older cat does. I think it is dark grey, thin, and I distincly remember seeing a shape of its cat ears, but not much else. It usually walks slowly towars me and then disappears.

Then, I have had these strange feelings, usually when I'm lying in my bed. I feel a cat jumping on the end of the bed, like our cats does, but when I look, there's nothing. Sometimes I am sure I feel a pressure against my legs, like a cat curled to sleep in there. Once, and this is my best and clearest memory of the 'spirit': I was lying on my bed in the morning. Sun was already rising. I heard clear purring from near my knees, but again, there was nothing there. I remember my mom yelling something at me from the kitchen, propably telling me to get up, but I was just lying there, feeling very happy and content, for no good reason at all (I'm not a happy morning person) and just listening to the purring. I was awake, and I am absolutely sure I heard it, and I know the exact place that the sound was coming from. I could hear both or our cats meowing in the kitchen for breakfast. I'd like to think that the spirit-cat was feeling happy, therefore the purring, and the same happiness surrounded me as well.

Also, our older cat scratches at the door of my room when it wants inside in middle of the night. The other cat sleeps downstairs, and never scratches doors. I sometimes get up in middle of the night when I hear the scratching (I'm a light sleeper), only to found there's nothing behind the door and the cat I thought it was was already sleeping on my bed.

Oh, and of course, our cats seem to be aware of the precence as well. The older one expecially sometimes turns her head to look intently at the same spot that I just saw the shadow in.

WHY I am telling this now, is that as I already told, I've moved into my very own flat. I'm now visiting home, since the internet is here, but I was staying alone in my new flat before that. The first couple of nights were just normal, but then I started seeing the same shadow, once again, walking towards me. On thursday, I was standing in the bathroom with the door open, and looking at the mirror in front of me, saw a cat running past the doorway behind me.

As I said, I am absolutely not afraid. I'm actually thinking, now that the spirit seems to have followed me, that I might have to give it a name. I really, really like the idea that a cat I never even knew, has seemingly chosen to seek me for comfort after death. Actually, the thought just made a cry a little. :)

So, even though I might very well be imagining the whole thing, I'd prefer to keep imagining it still.

Date:	2005-02-27 21:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	nervous

Yay Monday.

I'm going to go to look for a flat today.. again. Have to plug my eyebrows and drink a lot of coffee and try to act normal and non-frightening. Or non-frightened. Eek!

Sorry to everyone/anyone who might have been waiting for me to post some fannish-stuff. I have no energy.
Life has been kicking me into head, teeth and then continued kicking when I was already down. Somebody out there, holding the strings, seems to enjoy pulling me up and then pushing me down. My head hurts from crying.

I should already have learned how unfair life is.

Well, whatdayaknow, I did draw something.

It's almost ready, just need to know this: How long has Angel has the tattoo on his shoulder? When did he got it?

Thanks!

Oh. Woe me.

I haven't drawn or written much of anything, as I am feeling a bit down again. Ugh. I'm so tired of looking for appartement/job and for people telling me "No".

Ugh.

I'm so depressed I am not even listening to music... Or maybe I'm depressed because I am NOT listening to music?

Date:	2005-01-27 21:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy

Here is where the slashiness begins:

Angelus & William, St. Petersburg.

http://xs.to/xs.php?h=xs13&d=05040&f=St.petersburg.JPG


(Nothing really that slashy yet. I'll ease you to it gently.)

WTF?

I'm donwloading stuff from Kazaa, and there's

Title: "Do You You Know Me"
Artist: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
Album: The Babyshambles

I know people sometimes get the names wrong, but JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE doesn't sound even a bit like Pete Doherty! WTF?


On the other news, I've done a nice little kissy kissy-picture of Angel & Spike, called "St.Petersburg". I'll upload it tonight. :)

OH God, this is the most annoying thing in the world, but you can't help but laught with him/her!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fartingcat.html

Well, at least I can't. I'm odd like that.

:)

Date:	2005-01-27 21:35
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	dorky
Music:	Ryan Adams: Political Scientists

I've been thinking about how many years of my life I've "wasted" on obsessing over stuff, and how interesting it is that some people are into fandom stuff, while others never get so exited over anything like that. I don't really see anything wrong with being the way I am, as everytime I start obsessing over something new, I learn a lot. I learned to write stories and english because of fan fic. I know a lot about certain parts of history, thanks to some of the obsessions I've had. And I don't know how I'd ever be able to survive visiting relatives without the slashy interludes my mind entertains me with.

I tried to remember every fandom I've EVER been interested in. Some of them are quite embarrassing. :) I've also tried to remember if I had a certain pairing or a person that I fancied, and how long they kept me in their thrall. Here it is, starting from first I can remember:


-The Bikermice from Mars, (I liked Vincent)

-Earth 2 (Morgan)

-Due South (This has been my longest and most loved-fandom, and I still love it. Also, my first slash pairing: Fraser/Kowalski. Favorite character: Kowalski (+everyone!)

-Xena:The Warrior Princess (Callisto, Xena and Joxer)

-The Magnificent Seven TV series (Ezra, and really all of guys. Ezra/Chris, usually.)

-Interview with the Vampire (I liked Cruise's Lestat)

-Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Spike) AND OMG Spangel Teh Hot! ;p

-Angel (Doyle)

-Lord of the Rings (Pippin & Merry in fandom-stuff, but I love the books in general and have been a fan before the movies.)

-Firefly. I'm including this one even if I only saw few episodes. I think I would have slashed Simon/Jayne. I think I need to find a few fics to read...


Also, some things I've obsessed over:

Ewan McGregor +Scotland, celts, Ireland. Ancient Egypt & Akhenaten. Old West. Ren & Stimpy, The Libertines. Tolkien, Canada, Space,

Oh God. There should be more, I'm sure!

Also, I've included this cautionary little tale here:

One day, couple of years ago, I woke up as a BACKSTREET BOYS FAN. Yes. Howie was my boy of choice. I can honestly say that I do not know how that happened, even my family and friends were baffled by this sudden turn. I'd never ever shown any interest in BSB before, and was suddenly squeeing over their choreography! This lasted for two weeks and then I just snapped out of it. I tore the pictures of howie that I had on my wall. But I still have their CD Millennium that I bought during those 2 weeks. I really should sell it to someone, but I am too embarrassed to show people that I actually have it, as I am known as kind of a music-snob. :)

I want to draw slashy, dirty, wrong, pr0n things!

Date:	2005-01-27 21:35
Subject:	Drawings!
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful

Drawings, drawings, drawings! :D

1."The portrait of a young man"
(William B. c.1880)

-not very good, but might be interesting. Tried to make him look a bit more 'wesley-like', as there's an interesting connection there... ;)

http://xs.to/xs.php?h=xs13&d=05045&f=WilliamB.JPG

And,

2. "After Damage"

http://xs.to/xs.php?h=xs13&d=05045&f=damage3.JPG

-(This is a quick drawing, so don't expect high quality!) Spike and Angel, after episode 'Damage'.
Not much happening here, just wanted to do something slightly slashier. I wanted Angel to be typical Angel: Here he is brooding over that 'once upon a time'-line, and being totally clueless of the fact that Spike is smitten (because Angel came to see him! :))

Don't laugh at Angel's hair.

**

The Lord of the Rings:

1. Frodo, coloured

http://xs.to/xs.php?h=xs13&d=05045&f=frodocolour.JPG

-there's an odd line in the middle of the pic that happened when my cat jumped on top of the scanner while it was scanning. :)

2. Merry &Pippin

-my favorite hobbits.

http://xs.to/xs.php?h=xs13&d=05045&f=mepip.JPG

3. PLUS the full picture of Frodo that is used in the icon. I like this one. Also, much better paper.

http://xs.to/xs.php?h=xs13&d=05045&f=oneringtorule.JPG

Hopefully the links work. More to come tomorrow!

Date:	2005-01-27 21:35
Subject:	Drawings
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

Hee!

I learned how to host images!

Still, I only have 1 image up. It's Spike (William) circa 1899. Illustration for my fic "Spoor".

You can find it here:

http://xs.to/xs.php?h=xs13&d=05044&f=william.JPG

(I hope the link works.)

More to come, if anyone's interested. I love to draw. :D

Date:	2005-01-27 20:35
Subject:	GIP
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

GIP!

I am learning to use the scanner, but it is harder and slower than I expected. I have to use that crappy computer that we have downstairs. I have been able to scan the pics, but the problem is to resize them. I know it's easy to do, I just hadn't been able grasp it yet.

But here's Frodo Icon! I'm trying to scan my William-pictures next.

Sometimes I really dislike my father.

I have been trying to get an appartement and a job from another town for quite long now, but have yet succeeded. The complicating thing is that I have trouble getting an appartement because I have no job, (nobody wants to rent an appartement to unemployed) and I have trouble getting a job because I have no appartement (It would be easier to apply for job in the town, not from afar). I have had so many disappointments and other things (like, people lying to me) that lately I have been quite depressed because of it all.

Today, I woke up in good mood. I started cleaning the house and thought about calling couple of places in hopes of getting an appartement. Then my father comes upstairs, lies down on a couch and starts counting how much money I've cost them because I've been living here instead of getting my own place. Then he calls me pathetic, passive loser, because I haven't got an appartement/job, when all my friends and both my sisters have. My sisters are both studying to become nurses, like my mom. I am actually the most educated and learned of us three, and have had more exprerience, but I haven't got a job. I am feeling like a loser, and I don't need people reminding me of it.

My life sucks. To make myself feel better, I've been drawing things. I need to learn how to use a scanner tonight and then figure out how to get the pics linked in my livejournal. If somebody is interested in seeing what I've been up to. Among other things, I've been doing fandom-stuff, from LOTR and Angel. I have two pics of William and two of Spike, plus 3 Frodos, 1 Aragorn, 1 Legolas, Merry & Pippin and some others. I might even scan a pic of my LOTR oil-painting. :)


I'm also quite sick of the snow, right now.